Nov. 27, 2011 at 4:24pm
back from the grave (soon).

I can’t believe I almost deleted this tumblr out of gluten fueled shame. It’s been an exceedingly busy summer and fall for me, and an excessively broke one so I’d fallen back into tuna fish sandwiches and ramen mode for a while there. Well, unsurprisingly I feel like shit from all this bread intake and I’m planning on reviving the paleo kitchen in the very near future. I’ve got a stack of recipes I want to try out and basically nothing to do but work and cook.

So stay tuned.

Apr. 4, 2011 at 3:28am
BUTTER WITH SALMON. This one turned out pretty damn well. Fucked up the hollandaise, and burnt the sweet potatoes a bit but still awesome. Lessons learned. Serves 2, and some roommates. Go get (or have) A big fillet of salmon, 1lb or so. a bunch of asparagus (as in, a bunch of asparagus, or a bunch of asparagus) One sweet potato, maybe two. 3 or four strips of cooked bacon, chopped into tiny bits (hey, have bacon for breakfast and you’re done!) 1/4 a stick of butter A Netflix instant streaming account for the hollandaise: 2 eggs a goddamn stick of butter One lemon cayenne pepper Ok. Peel the sweet potato (or don’t, I did). Chop it up into medium sized chunks. Sweet potato + a large pat of butter + coarse sea salt and some pepper, on a baking dish, in an oven at 350° (I did burn these, so watch’em). Give it about ~20 minutes. Go watch Rocko’s Modern Life. Awesome. Now it’s time to put the asparagus in. Shuffle the potatoes around and toss the asparagus and the chopped bacon into the same dish (why make more dishes?). Add a bit of butter, and season the asparagus to taste. Give that about 20 minutes. Now for the fish. Grill it if you can. LEARN HOW TO GRILL SALMON IF IT’S THE LAST THING YOU DO. I didn’t (no grill here). I tossed the salmon with a couple decent pats of butter on top into another baking dish and stuck it in the oven with everything else. Let the whole shebang cook up till the fish is done (~10-15 minutes). Shit’s getting real now. While the fish is cooking, MAKE HOLLINDAISE. (I used lemon, sea salt, peppercorn and cayanne pepper for flavor). Again, this is something I kinda fucked up, STIR THAT SHIT LIKE YOU’RE RON JEREMY IN A BUTT HURRICANE. Plate it up. Eat it up. Go about being awesome.

BUTTER WITH SALMON.

This one turned out pretty damn well. Fucked up the hollandaise, and burnt the sweet potatoes a bit but still awesome. Lessons learned.

Serves 2, and some roommates.

Go get (or have)

  • A big fillet of salmon, 1lb or so.
  • a bunch of asparagus (as in, a bunch of asparagus, or a bunch of asparagus)
  • One sweet potato, maybe two.
  • 3 or four strips of cooked bacon, chopped into tiny bits (hey, have bacon for breakfast and you’re done!)
  • 1/4 a stick of butter
  • A Netflix instant streaming account

for the hollandaise:

  • 2 eggs
  • a goddamn stick of butter
  • One lemon
  • cayenne pepper

Ok. Peel the sweet potato (or don’t, I did). Chop it up into medium sized chunks. Sweet potato + a large pat of butter + coarse sea salt and some pepper, on a baking dish, in an oven at 350° (I did burn these, so watch’em). Give it about ~20 minutes. Go watch Rocko’s Modern Life. Awesome.

Now it’s time to put the asparagus in. Shuffle the potatoes around and toss the asparagus and the chopped bacon into the same dish (why make more dishes?). Add a bit of butter, and season the asparagus to taste. Give that about 20 minutes. Now for the fish. Grill it if you can. LEARN HOW TO GRILL SALMON IF IT’S THE LAST THING YOU DO. I didn’t (no grill here). I tossed the salmon with a couple decent pats of butter on top into another baking dish and stuck it in the oven with everything else. Let the whole shebang cook up till the fish is done (~10-15 minutes).

Shit’s getting real now.

While the fish is cooking, MAKE HOLLINDAISE. (I used lemon, sea salt, peppercorn and cayanne pepper for flavor). Again, this is something I kinda fucked up, STIR THAT SHIT LIKE YOU’RE RON JEREMY IN A BUTT HURRICANE.

Plate it up. Eat it up. Go about being awesome.


Apr. 3, 2011 at 2:13am
Bitchin’ Hot Stove Steak w/Peaches n’ Shrooms (★★★★+) 1x Beautiful fuckin’ cut of sirloin, (marble madness like it’s 1984 all over again) 1/2 of 1/2 of a habanero pepper. Coarse salt and fresh ground pepper Cook that shit up in a bit of olive oil (and turn the fan on in case you get some of the habanero smoke in your eyes and cry like a bitch with a skinned knee). Season to taste. I like my steak on the rare side of medium rare, but do what you feel good about I guess. On the side, sauté in some real ass butter: 1 peach, sliced into slices, rubbed down with some agave A handful of cremini mushrooms, sliced in half. When everything sounds about done, put it on a plate and find somewhere priavte to eat (you will be making a lot of good sex noises). Like “Ohhh” and “Yeahhh” and “Right there baby, right in my mouth” Don’t look anyone in the eye for at least two hours.

Bitchin’ Hot Stove Steak w/Peaches n’ Shrooms (★★★★+)

  • 1x Beautiful fuckin’ cut of sirloin, (marble madness like it’s 1984 all over again)
  • 1/2 of 1/2 of a habanero pepper.
  • Coarse salt and fresh ground pepper

Cook that shit up in a bit of olive oil (and turn the fan on in case you get some of the habanero smoke in your eyes and cry like a bitch with a skinned knee). Season to taste. I like my steak on the rare side of medium rare, but do what you feel good about I guess.

On the side, sauté in some real ass butter:

  • 1 peach, sliced into slices, rubbed down with some agave
  • A handful of cremini mushrooms, sliced in half.

When everything sounds about done, put it on a plate and find somewhere priavte to eat (you will be making a lot of good sex noises). Like “Ohhh” and “Yeahhh” and “Right there baby, right in my mouth”

Don’t look anyone in the eye for at least two hours.

1:56am
★★★ish A Late Breakfast. A couple of smallish pork loins An apple (slice’d) fresh raspberries (blueberries next time) a bit of onion, sliced wedgelike. Like, a dash of curry powder Pan fry up the pork with some salt and pepper, or whatever. Use olive oil, but not a ton because the pork is greasy enough on it’s own. Oh, totally wok it up btw - you can’t beat a good wok for cooking basically anything. Anyways, while the pork is cookin’ go ahead and wedge an apple and a bit of onion. Plate the pork and toss the apple’n’onion in the wok—this will be a good time to practice your iron chef behind the back wok flipping, and your second degree burn first aid.  I put some curry in with the flora, and I’m still not sure about this—experiment here. Serve as artistically as you can, take a shitty photo. Raspberries for contrast. Delicious.  

★★★ish

A Late Breakfast.

  • A couple of smallish pork loins
  • An apple (slice’d)
  • fresh raspberries (blueberries next time)
  • a bit of onion, sliced wedgelike.
  • Like, a dash of curry powder

Pan fry up the pork with some salt and pepper, or whatever. Use olive oil, but not a ton because the pork is greasy enough on it’s own. Oh, totally wok it up btw - you can’t beat a good wok for cooking basically anything. Anyways, while the pork is cookin’ go ahead and wedge an apple and a bit of onion. Plate the pork and toss the apple’n’onion in the wok—this will be a good time to practice your iron chef behind the back wok flipping, and your second degree burn first aid. 

I put some curry in with the flora, and I’m still not sure about this—experiment here.

Serve as artistically as you can, take a shitty photo. Raspberries for contrast. Delicious.

 

1:51am with 1 note

Oddly, the same day I decided to really give Paleo a fair shake, Brady, a rad customer at my part-time gig decided to grill us up lunch. Huge slabs of fatty perfectly grilled beef, grilled romaine halves and super tasty asparagus. Ok, I didn’t make it myself but this dude deserved props.

1:41am with 1 note
This is me. ∞ EVAN. This tumblr is intended to keep me doing two things. Sticking to a Paleo diet, and being creative in the kitchen.

This is me. ∞ EVAN. This tumblr is intended to keep me doing two things. Sticking to a Paleo diet, and being creative in the kitchen.